Two and a Half Men

By Jeff Headrick

The two and a half men waltz all night with their two and a  half women. Everyone knows that the two men and the two  women add up to four people. But what about the  half-man and the half-woman, adding up to a single entity?  They dance the finest, like the music is coming out of their  shoes. The ballroom is empty now, and the sun came up  hours ago. The half people can still hear the music, and they  continue to dance. Yes, they are both very short, but with  lovely proportions. Their clothes were obviously made with  great skill and care, probably by the same tailor. The man’s  belt is rough wool, and the woman wears a matching sash.  They take a break, look out the window and smoke, and the  man takes a call on his phone, pacing and smiling back at  the woman, rolling his eyes. She opens the window, and  cardinals fly in, half of them red and half brown. They fly  near the ceiling, and mass on the chandeliers. The man and  woman dance again, in silence with the birds.